As Above... So Below...

Have you ever wondered why we use the words “As Above – So Below” as part of our Rituals?  I think many just say the words by rote without a deeper understanding of what it means.  Even in Shamanism we use a similar incantation; “We Marry the As Above with the So Below”.  Historically it comes from the Egyptian-Greek Emerald Tablet of the 2^nd and 3^rd centuries CE and it was embraced by European Hermetic occult practitioners and is still with us today. 

So theoretically we can say that it has been around since ancient times and therefore is encased in our collective ancestral knowledge.  I however think that when we look at what it really means and stop saying it by rote as a way to begin a ritual we could deepen our rituals and what we are attempting to manifest will become more focused.

How many times have I heard people speak to how difficult it is for them to manifest what they desire?  They say all the right incantations, work with the Gods and Goddesses and yet things are just not what they are seeking.  Interesting…  I have a theory.

First, let’s explore the As Above.  What is the As Above – it is the Dream Space.  This is where all our dreams, visions or the goals reside.  We all know that we have to have a clear picture of the Dream we want to manifest that is why we use vision boards and various other tools to strengthen that dream. The piece we miss… is our ability to overcome our own doubt. 

Doubt clouds our ability to manifest.  It makes us water down our dream and bring it more in line with what the Ego believes our abilities are.  Our Dreamer knows that we are infinite and that nothing is impossible.  What drives our Ego… Fear.  Fear of failure and sometimes even fear of success.

The So Below is this reality that we are in every day.  This is where the Ego lives and here it reigns supreme.  It will trick us into believing that we should not risk what we have.  There are times it will make you believe that you don’t deserve the dream you are manifesting.  Because of doubt the As Above is not reflected in the So Below and therefore can’t be made manifest.  That is why saying “As Above, So Below” as part of a ritual will not necessarily reap success – because we don’t believe it.

So, what can we do to overcome our Ego’s and get out of our own way?  We have to heal the Inner world so that we can calm the mind and start to see the Outer world for what is really is.  We need to stop projecting into the future and be in the now.  When we realize that what we do today is the foundation for tomorrow then we start to see the shift.  We need to stay the course and not let our Ego’s lead us astray. 

Love & Light

2018, Exit Stage Left...

For some of us it is good riddance!  Yes I know, for many of us 2018 was a rough year.  2018 seemed more chaotic than usual and nothing worked out the way we planned… or very little anyway.  I would like to just speak to 2018 and it’s energy one last time so bear with me.

We saw the #metoo and other feminist movements and agenda’s being brought to the forefront in 2018.  So much so that we could be lead to believe that 2018 was about healing the Feminine but that could not be further from the truth.  We saw prominent men brought to their knees last year.  We saw other men reaching out and speaking across the divide that separates the feminine and the masculine. 

2018 was the beginning of the shift of the Masculine Collective.  The old masculine paradigm is an energy that is no longer Universally tolerated.  As with any shift there is pain but only if we hang onto the old ways.  The men who were brought down were the pillars that held up the old paradigm and one by one they have been falling and will continue into 2019 but with more subtlety.

The unfortunate thing is that many people only saw the “angry Feminine” as the face of the year but these women were the catalysts for the Masculine shift.   Without their action the outdated masculine would continue to prevail.  It was about balancing the “me” and “we”.

Armed with this information reflect on your own 2018.  How were you able to bridge the gap in your own relationships with the opposite sex?  I know that there were shifts with my relationships with my sons mostly due to the fact that they softened.  The shift however was not without chaos and conflict in the first part of the year as I set boundaries and they pushed back.  As the year continued and ego’s, mine and theirs, let go of how we thought it should be and healed rifts I saw a gentle shift towards a deeper understanding. 

For men who were not ready 2018 was tough, they broke relationships and stepped away from their healing process.  I witnessed a lot of fear response to letting go of the past, although thankfully there was a return to stepping into the new Masculine energy for many, but only after the December Solstice and full Moon which was the ultimate and final shift of the year.

So here we are with 2019 wide open in front of us.  What will it hold and where are we heading as a collective consciousness?  Only time will tell…

Love & Light!

The Spiral of Deeper Understanding...

It is interesting how you find answers to questions in the most unlikely places.  This past weekend I was a vendor at the Toronto Pagan Pride Day.  Many people visited my table and asked questions about Paganism and the workshops I offer.  Then someone asked me a very interesting question. “Why did you study Shamanism if you are a Pagan at heart?”  I paused for a minute, and then a reply just poured from my lips.  I studied Shamanism because I needed to heal. 

So, why did I need to heal?  As I spoke to this person I realized that I have always manifested successfully throughout my life.  Except what I manifested was not always for my greater good.  There were times when I got what I wanted and the victory felt hollow.  When this happened I would simply go on to the next thing and not really think about it, but something was missing.

When I started practicing Paganism I found that my manifesting got even stronger.  I would put in my intent and work at manifesting the dream.  However there were times that the quote; “be careful what you wish for” was apt.  Often I would be perplexed by what I received, it was what I intended but not exactly how I had envisioned it, I always felt a slight disappointment wanting more.

Then one night I had a prophetic dream and I was called to Shamanism.  At the time I didn’t give it a second thought just asked around and found a teacher.  That was it, I made the commitment to study and become a Shamanic Practitioner.  Still there was no correlation between Shamanism and Paganism. I never questioned why.

And then this person asked me why and it became crystal clear.  Healing helped me clean up my thoughts.  I realized that the reason I wasn’t clearly manifesting what I intended before was because my thoughts weren’t clear, and when your thoughts aren’t clear your intending certainly can’t be.

So there I was at a Pagan Pride Day and suddenly it all came together and made perfect sense.  The Goddess sent me to follow a healing path so that I could heal and change the way I thought, felt and saw the world.  She then called me back when I was ready.  Now the world is open to me, I have a better understanding of the unknown.  I have done ceremonies that have shifted my perception of who I am and how I move through this world.  Because my dreaming has strengthened my manifesting is more on point.  I am so grateful for all the Magic that moves through my life and through me and for all the healing.  I know the rest of my life is going to be the best of my life as I manifest all that resonates with my Path and my Soul.

It makes perfect sense to me to weave Paganism and Shamanism together in such a way that they support each other.  To teach Magic that supports the Souls Journey and Healing that supports clear thoughts, dreaming and strong intending.  Wow that is a potent path of Manifesting the life we deserve.

Life is a spiral not a straight line. We continually come back to the things we thought we understood so that we can get a deeper understanding…

In Beauty 

Don't look back... You are not going that way!

The other day I had to go drop my son off in my old neighbourhood to pick up his car.  I drove by my old house.  Suddenly I was struck by a deep sense of sadness and loss.  I thought I had dealt with the grief of losing so much so I found it surprising that I should have such a visceral reaction to seeing my old home. Then it hit me… the sense of failure that is connected to that loss.  I felt that everything I had worked for over the last decades of my life was squandered and I had no-one but myself to blame.

Unconsciously every so called failure I had ever suffered came to the forefront.  People who know me know that I don’t dwell in the place of self-pity so I was completely taken by surprise. I knew I had to deal with this sense of failure so I worked with my altar, I asked the Gods and Spirit for answers.  Frankly I asked every God I knew to give me insight into this feeling of failure, loss and grief.  The answers did not come immediately but over the last couple of week they did come… slowly but surely.

I’m living from a place of SCARCITY:

In my everyday lately, even though I have more than enough I act as if I am down to my last resources.  We all know that you reap what you sow and I have been sowing lack.  As I go through my day I look to what I don’t have instead of what I have in abundance.  I have never gone to bed hungry or slept outside (glamping excluded) or not had the means to care for myself and mine.  I have always had an innate trust in myself and the Universe that it would provide. I need to go back to that space of trust and innocence that all will be well.

I’m coming from a place of FEAR:

Fear is taking up a big part of my daily thought process.  I ask myself questions like: How will I survive when I get old? Will I be alone? Where will I live? How will I eat? I need a new car… What if I lose my job?  And so it carries on and on… the constant reminder of what I could lose.  Why am I living in the future and causing myself so much anxiety?  Surely I know that what I do today will be the foundation for what happens tomorrow… but do I really?  I did everything right and still I have very little to show for it.  Once again I have to center myself and ground.  Do these material things matter?  Yes they do but not as a validation of who I am.  I can own absolutely nothing but still find joy in the sparkle in my Grandchildren’s eyes, in my Son’s laughing and growing into wonderful men.  I have nothing to fear, the future will take care of itself I must take care of now and live only in the moment.

I have made my world SMALL:

I have put my life on hold.  I have confined myself to the four walls of my office.  Why… because I don’t want to lose what I have.  I can’t lose what I have it is already gone and that which has stayed is more than I can ever need plus I have the love of my family and friends.  Each day I lock myself up in this room I lose a piece of myself and my world gets smaller.  I have some deep decisions to make. I need to define my next incarnation.  I have started asking myself questions such as; what is important to me and what am I here to do?  I need to clear my path and make plans to walk it fully and with conviction.  I need to start dreaming…

As I work with all these feelings I have noticed a small voice and it is getting louder each day.  That young woman I once was and still am, the one that I silenced so that I could fit in, is making herself heard.  The young woman that wanted to see the world and experience life fully and that made choices to stay in one place as to not disappoint.  Her free spirit is growing and her voice is becoming a roar in my ears.

What is she saying?  You are FREE!  In the words of Kris Kristofferson that Janis Joplin immortalized “Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose”.  I can never lose the love of the people who love me; that I know for a fact.  There is nothing else to lose expect my Soul if I continue to ignore the roar.  Therefore I will strike scarcity, fear and playing it small from my thoughts and I will breathe in breathe out… no fear no doubt.

There is a vast ocean of knowledge and experiences out there. I will start to investigate do my research and prepare.  The time is not 100% right… I know this instinctively but it is close…

I am Heathen… and this is why.

People often ask me why I am Heathen.  For some time I wasn’t able to give them and answer that made sense, it was as if I couldn’t quite put it into words.  So, I spent some time thinking about it why I am a Pagan so that next time I was asked I could answer the question clearly without hesitation.

I have always believed in something greater than myself, the Church however left me cold.  I felt that the Patriarchy of Christianity didn’t feed me.  I could not reconcile a God of love with one who spoke of an eternal punishment if you did not follow the rules.  Then Jesus died and for our sins and was resurrected.  That took a lot of responsibility off our shoulders; we could ask for forgiveness and be saved but there was still there was something missing.  

Here are my reasons for choosing to be a Pagan:

Re-incarnation:

I was very young when I started to believe in re-incarnation.  I could never wrap my head around how one would get only one chance to live a good life and not make any mistakes.  In my everyday life I was granted chance after chance by my earthly Father why would a heavenly Father not be more compassionate if he were a God of love.  I feel certain that I will keep coming back until I am enlightened and I am absolutely convinced that I have lived many lives both of power and darkness.

Goddess Worship:

Somewhere deep inside my subconscious I knew that there were Goddesses that had been stripped of their power and were waiting to be worshipped once again.  I could feel the rise of the feminine and I wanted to be part of that movement.  However I never become only a Goddess worshipper I believe in balance where both the masculine and the feminine are revered. 

Karma:

I believe in the law of Karma and free will; what you sow so shall you reap.  To me this means that if I do my best to be a good person that is what will be returned to me.  If I do harm intentionally it will have a karmic repercussion.  Every experience in my life is a consequence of a decision I made. 

Free Will:

I have free will and I therefore have the freedom of choice and there is always a choice.  With choice comes great responsibility.  I attract everything good and bad with my intention and the choices I make.  Choice is freedom!!

Responsibility:

Even though there is something comforting about Jesus taking away our sins I prefer to take responsibility for my own life and deeds.  I feel that only through learning, healing and striving to be a better person can I become a part of Source. 

This is why I am Heathen and proud of it.  I feel in control of my life but in the knowledge that there is a reason for everything and nothing is coincidence.  There is a synchronicity to my life that allows it to flow, move and be vibrant.  There is a Great Mystery at work and I am part of it...

Love & Light

Are we failing new Pagans?

I witnessed something last weekend that terrified me.  This may sound somewhat dramatic but I felt overwhelmed by the energy in the room.  I went to the psychic fair.  Mostly we had a wonderful time, I had a great palm and tarot reading by Johanna and I found a beautiful new leather bound book to record my own sacred text and Spells (Grimoire). 

We decided to go listen to one of the speakers.  The talk we wanted to hear was on Aura photography.  I know what an Aura is and I know the significance, how to clear and expand it but it is not my field of study so finding out about how it is photographed and read sounded fascinating.  Well, that’s when things went wrong…

The speaker spent all of three minutes on Aura’s and then launched into talking about curses and vows and that is a subject I know something about.   If that had been what I signed up for no problem but it was not.  The speaker asked the people in the room to stand up and renounce any vows and curses that they may have made in this lifetime and others.  Typically this would not be a problem if you have explained the consequences and had people had time to work through the karmic repercussions of such an act, but none were.  It was simply, stand up and repeat after me...  That was eye opening and in my opinion reckless.

Then the audience started asking questions and that is when I became horrified. Some of the questions revealed that people have been using magic and ancient ways without any concept of the consequences of their actions.  They are dabbling with energies that they don’t comprehend or respect.  One of the attendees spoke of how she had used a voodoo doll and now was wondering if she should just burn it in an effort to reverse what she had done.  There was no understanding of the Rule of Three and First Do No Harm.  People are just going onto the internet and downloading stuff and doing it!  It is like a Pagan Porn fest out there!

So I ask the Old Guard, those of us who have stood at the gateway to the unknown and studied our Craft intensively, what do we do?  How do we reach more people and help them understand Magic the Ancient Ways and the Old Goddesses and Gods?  How do we teach the Old Ways in such a way that people respect and revere it?   We have to find ways to reach people and teach them about the Rule of Three and First Do No Harm.  It is wonderful that people are waking up but we need them to wake up in the light.  So let’s get out there and teach, guide and lead.  It is for us to do…

Love & Light

4 Characteristics that show you are a catalyst for others.

Have you found that people who are right in the midst of a personal struggle will gravitate to you and that your energy seems to guide them through their crisis?  Well that may mean that you are a catalyst of other people’s healing.

I am not referring to the daily healing work I do as a practitioner. No, I am talking about a much deeper personal and emotional healing done in a one-to-one relationship.  

I am looking at why I get drawn into these situations.   With my own experiences I have found that the following traits and behaviors attract the people who are in need of a catalyst to make life changing decisions:

Authenticity

After years of working on myself I have come to a place in my life where I feel truly authentic.   I don’t feel judged by anyone because I don’t care what others think and I don’t judge others.  The saying “What other people think of you is none of your business” resonates with me at a conscious and unconscious level.  This authenticity leads to ease in my dealings with others and makes them feel comfortable to share their secrets.

Intensity

I live my life with an intensity that is seldom matched in people around me.  Other people who resonate the same become close friends and in these cases there is no energy loss on either side.  The ones who don’t vibrate at the same rate find my intensity and energy acts like a catalyst for them.  They draw from this and use it to spark change in their own lives.  In most cases this is not a problem because I have learnt how to protect myself from energy vampires.

Heart Connection

My heart is open to my community, my friends and my family.  My heart is generally open in this way.  I do however keep my heart hidden in a relationship until something happens that triggers a happy memory and allows me to open it.  Once that happens I am 100% present and engaged.   I don’t play games well, so I avoid them.  I am either in or out there is no in between.  This trait often makes the other person feel safe and then they start to engage at a deeper level.  There are times they run because they are just not ready.  When they run I struggle to just let it be at first but I soon see the wisdom

Enthusiasm

I am nothing if not enthusiastic.  I have a passion for life and I don’t play small.  I have lived most of my life taking risks and laughing at most of the consequences.  My motto, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry and that won’t solve anything.  So I choose to laugh.  If doesn’t hurt less but it is more bearable and affords me the grace to hold my head up and laugh with others at my crazy life.  People who need to feel protected when taking a risk notice this.  They draw energy from me to step into the unknown.

Do you have the same traits?  For me it isn’t always easy… sometimes I invest and find that I am left asking what went wrong.  Does this happen to you?  Have you been left wondering how come you have been squeezed dry? 

Here is what I know; you have far more reserves than you think.  You will always return stronger than before.  You will recover quickly as long as you are never a victim.  Perhaps it is yours to do but remember you always have a choice.

I realize quickly that I choose my path and that there is power in every choice I make.  Life is glorious and we should all live it to the fullest, even if it means taking risks and laughing in the face of despair.

Choose wisely…

Love & Light

Mistakes…. Four things they taught me.

I have enjoyed mine so much I think I will go make a few more!  As part of the healing process I have been scratching around in the events that I considered to be the muck of my life’s journey.  What I discovered is that these moments are the actual true moments of power.  They taught me valuable life lessons.

1. We don’t always get what we want.

We all dream our dreams and make our plans but in the end we receive what is most in alignment with our Souls journey.  Interestingly enough when you look back you will notice that what you did receive was actually spot on!  It often allows for future growth and new ideas.  If I had got what I wanted ten years ago I wouldn’t even be here or in this stage of my development.  It may have been possible but this journey has proved to be exactly what my Soul needed.  I had to break quite a few things to get here though…

2.  Ushers in a new understanding.

To my point of breaking things, the only way I have found that you can bring in a new understanding is by breaking the old way.  Mistakes force you to see where the crack is and allows for a paradigm shift.   Without the events that I consider to be my mistakes I would not have made that connection.  They served a vital role in uncovering my bullshit!

3.  Don’t hang onto them.

Whatever you do don’t hang onto your so-called mistakes.  Everything has a reason, nothing is random and we are all connected.  We are just acting on what we know at the time, and sometimes that just isn’t enough information but we don’t know what we don’t know.  Sometimes we take action based on a projection of what we want our lives to be, not what really is. 

4.  What is.

Mistakes push us to see life as it really is, all of the beauty and the warts.  Once we master the willingness to stop hiding behind our masks, our projections and our fears a new world unfolds and we can finally see the path of our journey. 

Once again this past weekend I witnessed the letting go by courageous people, each in their own space doing their work.  I tip my hat to all of us who won’t give up; we who plug away at our individual darkness in order to heal the human consciousness of our time and herald in the 5^th World.  HAIL!

Love & Light

What's In My Blood....

The mystery of my ancestry has been on my mind for a long time.  I have been delving into my past and I have successfully traced my Fathers family tree back to the ancestor who immigrated to South Africa in 1694. My Mothers tree has not been that easy but I am not going to give up, I will continue to poke around.  Recently I had my DNA tested to see where I come from. The results were a mixture of "Yes I guessed that" and "Wow...really?" It has given me a deeper understanding of myself. 

As an Afrikaner I have always prided myself on the fact that I have no English blood, wrong… turns out I have quite a bit of ancestry from Great Britain.  Not Anglo-Saxon but rather Celts that stayed north of Hadrian’s Wall. To be expected – Western Europe, Nederland, Belgium and Germany is next and then Scandinavian and Eastern Europe.  The most surprising result is that there is 10% European Jewish, Ashkenazi ancestry.  So what did I find out – I am definitely of European decent!  Of course that is nothing new.

What I have uncovered is that I have expanded my view of who I am.  Basically I am a Celt because they were everywhere.  Now we think of Celts being in Scotland and Ireland but initially it was the whole area and they moved around a lot. Then of course the Vikings came and things shifted again.  I am exploring all of these pieces. I am researching their traditions, art and music and it is giving me a complete picture of myself.  I feel it also explains the unyielding spirit of my people.

It has been an interesting journey.  I think everyone should have their DNA tested it teaches you so much about yourself.   Another bonus, it adds so many new vacation destinations.

A more esoteric reason for doing this work is; if you believe in past lives then you are your own ancestor and I am searching back for a link to the past lives that have the strongest influence on this lifetime.  From the previous past life work I have done there are a number of lives that are impacting this one (in many of them I was an inhabitant of early Europe). Those deja vu moments of forgotten memories that stir when you do something you believe to be for the first time but it feels like it is not.   For me an example of this is that I decided to teach myself the Bodhran.  The day I picked it up I found I could play it – not with much finesse mind you – but I could play it.  Where did that come from?  Is it a memory from a past life?  Now I am working on honing this skill.

There is so much that lies hidden in our memories and in our blood… Is it time for you to explore yours?