I am currently studying addiction and how Shamanism can
support Addicts to wellness. During the
course we re-visited a particular teaching that really touched me the first time
I heard it when I started my Shamanic journey. I would like to share these with you so that next time you feel unworthy
you can recall the beliefs and perhaps change your perspective.
Firstly, it is important to recognize that we all feel unworthy
at times. This feeling stems mostly from
our childhood when we experienced a loss of innocence. Loss of innocence comes in many forms. An example could be that you are the apple
of your parent’s eye and you can do nothing wrong. Then you start school and perhaps you don’t
do very well and for the first time ever your parents show their
displeasure. That simple act of telling
you that you didn’t meet their expectations could be the catalyst for some of
these core beliefs.
I want to add that there is NO BLAME to be placed on loved
ones. This blog is not about awakening
the story of how you were not supported or loved. It is simply to identify where some of these
feelings may stem from and your story begins.
Remember that your parents did the best they could with the tools
available to them. We may not be the
ones who initiated the trauma but all our experiences are what we signed up for
in the evolution of our Spirit and it is our responsibility to heal it.
Core Belief #1: I am basically a bad and unworthy person:
Cast your
mind back to the first time someone scolded you and told you “You are a bad
child”. Can you recall that
feeling? They may even have added “Go to
your room” or “Get out of my sight”. Many
times from our perspective we were not necessarily being “bad” but rather
learning and experimenting. That was
your first encounter with conditional love.
There is usually two reactions to this trauma, you act out and become “bad”
or you do everything in your power to become worthy of the others love.
Loss of innocence
Core Belief #2: No-one would or could love me as I really am:
It becomes
clear to us that we are bad and unworthy so we armour and start to wear masks
in order to project what we want others to see.
We even have different masks for different people like a chameleon forever
matching the colour of the person we are engaging with. Depending on our personalities we might start telling
stories to make ourselves important. The
other side of the coin is self-pity where our story becomes who we are and we
tell it to all that will listen in order to feel acknowledged.
Loss of authenticity
Core Belief #3: My needs will never be met by others:
As we grow
we start to realize that we can’t depend on anyone but ourselves. We all have experiences where we trusted
someone only to be disappointed. The
hurt that strikes the deepest are those around our romantic relationships. We start to believe that people will always
let us down or betray us. Often we will
isolate ourselves. Sometimes we will
create “tests” for people to see if they will abandon us if we push them hard
enough, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It becomes a rinse and repeat cycle where our past continually
influences our future.
Loss of trust
Core Belief #4: My Addiction is all I need:
Feeding your addiction becomes your most important need to be met. This doesn't always mean drugs. It could even be things that would under normal circumstances be good for us i.e. exercise or food. As the trigger hits so I need to feed myself with that which makes me feel better. The stimulant removes the feeling of being worthless temporarily so I continue to return to it.
Loss of connection to Spirit
Core Belief #4: My Addiction is all I need:
Feeding your addiction becomes your most important need to be met. This doesn't always mean drugs. It could even be things that would under normal circumstances be good for us i.e. exercise or food. As the trigger hits so I need to feed myself with that which makes me feel better. The stimulant removes the feeling of being worthless temporarily so I continue to return to it.
Loss of connection to Spirit
Core Belief #5: Sex=Love=Pain
As a Human
the greatest gift that we have to offer is Love. Yet everything in our human experience feels
as if that is the one thing we can’t find.
When all these beliefs come together we believe in our core that we are unlovable
and worse still that we don’t deserve love.
When we fall in love something triggers the feeling that we will be
punished for loving and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. We hold back or shut down and do everything
in our power to avoid feeling. Better to
feel numb or be callous than to be vulnerable.
Loss of Love
With Shamanism these core beliefs are dismantled and
re-written. You heal every trauma and
story until you are finally able to find your way back to Self-Love. Once you realize that your ability to love
yourself heals all these core beliefs you can step back into innocence,
authenticity, trust and LOVE...
Love & Light
