Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Wonderful days....

What wonderful days we have had.  Full of merriment, joy, love and laughter with Family and Friends!  I reflect of these past days filled with so much beauty and recall so many moments.
My Grandson Kayden sitting among a pile of gifts so large that they obscure him from view at this his first Christmas.  His Mom Deanna and Dad Kyle smiling broadly as they help him rip at the paper.
The smiles as we all open our presents commenting loudly having fun.  Kiro hyperventilating at seeing his Leafs jersey with his name on the back - the gift of the day I might add which was Rich's gift to Kiro.
The smell of the Turkey cooking away in the oven to be taken over to friends where we joined a larger celebration.  Sitting at the Christmas table laughing, joking and eating...and eating...and eating!  The children's Christmas play, specially written for us by Ane and expertly performed by Ane, Adam and Theodore.  The time Linda, Jackie and Chris put in to help with set design and costume changes and the other adults cheering and encouraging.
Later sitting down with Rich and watching "National Lampoon Christmas Vacation" for the hundredth time and still laughing at all the silly bits.
I am so grateful for all these memories and that I was surrounded by so many people that I love and that love me!
Love and Light all....

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in!!!

Yes my friends, today I feel like Michael Corleone! I am building towards a new beginning for 2012 and eagerly looking forward to all the changes. So in preparation I decided I need to speak to my employer about resigning and possibly working for them on a contract basis. Much to my dismay it became very clear that I had left the conversation too late and now I will need to stay on full time for at least January 2012.

In principle I don't have an issue with this (I don't want to leave them in the lurch). We were discussing how we can reduce my time requirement for February and the rest of the year when I was told that there have been complaints about my performance over the last couple of months. I have to confess that wasn't easy to hear as I have always prided myself on the fact that I apply myself to the best of my ability however I think this assessment is completely accurate none the less - my heart has just not been in it of late.

Still I stay trying to talk about ways to reduce my work load and still help the company reach their resource obligations not wanting to cause them undue stress. As it becomes clear that January is out of the question I mention that I need more time for my own project and I am bluntly told; "That is not my problem." I'm a little take aback by this comment but again I look at it from their point of view; the company is very busy and they need all hands on deck so my coming along telling them that I don't want to work full time anymore is not convenient at all.

The next thing I am told is that they find contractors aren't very reliable and that they have problems with this concept. So I try to address their concern's saying that I would at least check e-mails once a day and obviously if they need me urgently they can phone me.

After all this I suggest that I just resign outright and be done with it! This time I am asked not to do that as yet at least give them January and then they will see how they can reduce my hours for February onwards. We end the conversation and I leave to go on-site.

Driving along I replay the conversation: I have just been told that; (a) my performance leaves a lot to be desired. (b) they don't really want to work with contractor's (c) my projects are not their problem (d) my projects must not interfere with their goals (e) how and when I find time to work on my projects is not their problem.

My question is then; should the fact that they can't meet their resource obligations be my problem? Should I be concerned with the fact that they have over extended themselves? The more I think about this the more it becomes clear to me that I should make a clean break and move on.

I am not happy. The only thing is my life that causes my equilibrium to be lost is this job. I have many new things just waiting in the wings that I would like to tackle and every day that I have to shift my focus back I lose energy. Now that I have decided to take the leap of faith and start the new journey it is excruciating! 

What do y’all think?  I’d be very interested to hear your views….

Love and Light!

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Blessed every day!!

Some days actually most days I feel like I am the most blessed person on this planet.  I have all of the necessary material goods to maintain a comfortable existence.  I have work stress and good and bad days same as every other person.  So why do I think I am the most blessed person on Earth?  Here are some of the reasons:

·         I am lucky enough to have realized that I can heal everything in my life, not only for myself but for “All my Relations”

·         I have wonderful, beautiful teachers who share their knowledge generously

·         I have realized that I am able to learn new skills and excel

·         I wake up most mornings with a smile on my lips wanting to tackle the day with renewed vigor and enthusiasm

·         I can pray every night to Great Spirit or the Goddess of my choice without persecution

·         I have wonderful kids that drive me crazy from time to time but whom I can be proud of

·         I have the most beautiful little Grandson

·         I have family and friends that love me unconditionally

·         I have people who love me intensely, unashamedly and unbridled

·         I have the most amazing facebook friends, people I have never met and yet they inspire me beyond my dreams

·         I have learnt how to live in the now… most of the time

·         I have learnt how to be still at peace and in balance….again – most of the time

My live is AWESOME and it is because of the people in my life and I thank them all from the bottom of my heart for making it so…..

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Christian's take back your Power and Faith!

Yesterday I was out and about doing my Christmas shopping.  Although a practicing Pagan the balance of my family, save one, is Christian and these include my own children.  Personally I also have a close affiliation with Christianity in it’s true from. 

I can see the confusion on your face as you read this.  How on earth do I reconcile Christianity with Paganism?  Well my friend it is easy.  In my opinion Paganism has taught me much about the true meaning of what Christ was trying to teach us and I clearly understand Christ’s role in my life.  He is a Teacher and a Guide.  A way for me to express His love is by not judging anyone and doing my best to practice unconditional love.  The first and only Rule of Paganism “DO NO HARM” runs parallel to this principle I believe.

What did seem to be very clear though is that many of us seem to have forgotten why we are celebrating Christmas.  I noticed so many stressed families, people with frowns and clenched jaws grabbing at things.  If only we would take one step back and look at what we are doing.  I tried to smile at every person who would meet my gaze – not an easy feat as most people’s eyes were darting uncontrollably all over the place at all the external stimuli.  It is like a crazed feeding frenzy out there.  Do we really think that this is what the first Christian’s and Apostles envisioned when they started teaching His word?  I don’t think so.

I am quite certain that most young Christian born children if asked what Christmas is about will say it is about getting presents and Santa.  Isn’t it time that changed?  Isn’t it time for Christian’s even Pagan Christian’s such as myself to correct this injustice that has been done – nay what we have allowed to be done - to our faith   I feel strongly that Christians need to take back their Power and their Faith.  Tell the commercial world to take a hike.  Remind our kids that Christmas in not about Santa and gifts but about Christ and why.  Stand proud Christian’s and try to find the true meaning of Christmas once again and ignite it in your own family!

Blessings, and a Merry Christmas to all.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Learning to love again!

Lately I have had cause to be worried about people outside my immediate family circle.  At first I wondered if opening my heart to love has been worth it.  If the consequence to doing so could be this type of concern do I want to go there again?  I remember the worry for people I cared about many years ago.  The pacing when they are not home on time.  The fast heart beat and the knot on my stomach as I wait to hear if everyone is okay.  Then they walk in much later - happily intoxicated and I feel like killing them for putting me through that angst. 
No I am left to ponder, do I really want to do all that again?  Let someone in and allow myself to be vulnerable to those feelings?  Hell yeah!!  I am happy to say that in the end love will conquered all!!    

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

A New Year is nearly upon us

Are you going to harness the energy of 2012 to effect change in your life?  Is this going to be your year of healing and improving your happiness?  We have heard so much about the changes that should be coming in this very important year.  My feelings are that we are going to see a real consciousness shift and that we can all look forward to a far more positive future.

Everyone has been wondering if this might be the end of the world.  I think it will be - of the world as we know it on an Individual basis.  When you have made a conscious decision to heal yourself and truly break with you past you change the world as you know it.  Embrace the new you.  Let me assist you in moving forward and changing your life for the better.

Love and Light