As Above... So Below...

Have you ever wondered why we use the words “As Above – So Below” as part of our Rituals?  I think many just say the words by rote without a deeper understanding of what it means.  Even in Shamanism we use a similar incantation; “We Marry the As Above with the So Below”.  Historically it comes from the Egyptian-Greek Emerald Tablet of the 2^nd and 3^rd centuries CE and it was embraced by European Hermetic occult practitioners and is still with us today. 

So theoretically we can say that it has been around since ancient times and therefore is encased in our collective ancestral knowledge.  I however think that when we look at what it really means and stop saying it by rote as a way to begin a ritual we could deepen our rituals and what we are attempting to manifest will become more focused.

How many times have I heard people speak to how difficult it is for them to manifest what they desire?  They say all the right incantations, work with the Gods and Goddesses and yet things are just not what they are seeking.  Interesting…  I have a theory.

First, let’s explore the As Above.  What is the As Above – it is the Dream Space.  This is where all our dreams, visions or the goals reside.  We all know that we have to have a clear picture of the Dream we want to manifest that is why we use vision boards and various other tools to strengthen that dream. The piece we miss… is our ability to overcome our own doubt. 

Doubt clouds our ability to manifest.  It makes us water down our dream and bring it more in line with what the Ego believes our abilities are.  Our Dreamer knows that we are infinite and that nothing is impossible.  What drives our Ego… Fear.  Fear of failure and sometimes even fear of success.

The So Below is this reality that we are in every day.  This is where the Ego lives and here it reigns supreme.  It will trick us into believing that we should not risk what we have.  There are times it will make you believe that you don’t deserve the dream you are manifesting.  Because of doubt the As Above is not reflected in the So Below and therefore can’t be made manifest.  That is why saying “As Above, So Below” as part of a ritual will not necessarily reap success – because we don’t believe it.

So, what can we do to overcome our Ego’s and get out of our own way?  We have to heal the Inner world so that we can calm the mind and start to see the Outer world for what is really is.  We need to stop projecting into the future and be in the now.  When we realize that what we do today is the foundation for tomorrow then we start to see the shift.  We need to stay the course and not let our Ego’s lead us astray. 

Love & Light

All We Need Is Love...

It is said that all we need is love for humanity to be happy and for our lives to have meaning, yet this seems to be one goal we all strive for and hardly ever reach.  In this time of division I have been reflecting on this.  Why do we humans seem so incapable of love?

All Teachers of Light throughout the ages have spoken of Love being the most important thing in this life and that through love we are able to transcend our egos’ because when we love we are thinking of someone else rather than ourselves.  It is also one of the reasons that sacrifice is rewarded in literature, music and history.  Selflessness is seen as a virtue.

So why is it so hard for us to love one another?   Interesting that Jesus said that the commandment second only to loving God is to, “Love thy neighbour as thyself” and it is in this statement that I think the flaw lies.   Most of us don’t love ourselves at all. 

We all live with this dilemma.  Depending on how we were raised we may think that loving ourselves is selfish because we might have been told as kids how selfish and spoiled we were.  Alternatively we might have grown up believing that we are worthless and being told that in many ways, at school and at home.  Most of us are used to conditional love, if you do this for me I will reward you; if you don’t then you will be punished.   Perhaps this is why we love dogs so much.  They don’t want anything from you and they give you all their love unconditionally, even if you don’t feel you deserve it. 

This brings me to an experiment that was done by performance artist Marina Abramovic.  She stood still for six hours and allowed people to do anything to her body without any repercussions.  She removed all responsibilities for their actions.  What's frightening is that it very soon devolved into a sadistic, violent tableau.  Why I wonder, why did people not shower her with affection?  Why all the hate, fear and violence?

So how do we fix this as a society? Buddha said it clearly, “If you see yourself in others, then who can you hurt?”  Yet that won’t help us either if we don’t love ourselves.  We need compassion and empathy for all people not only the ones who are in agreement with us.  It all comes down to healing ourselves so that we can truly love ourselves.  How do we do that?

Forgiveness – we all make mistakes but we have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes of the past.  Mistakes are there to teach and they are part of the journey of life.  Remember that we are only human.

Releasing anger and hurt – if we can bring ourselves to let go of all the hurt and anger that we hold onto we are able to open our hearts.  While we are living with hurt it is impossible for us to allow anyone in.  We always keep them at arm’s length and this leads to separation.

Fear – when people aren’t the same as us we tend to keep them at a distance.  They don’t look, speak or act like us so they must be too different for us to love.  If we can’t heal the fear and distrust of people within ourselves, how are we ever going to change our perspective?  

Love & Light

Roots and New Growth...

Twenty years ago I let go of everything I knew and loved and took my first steps into a brave new world. In the next year I broke everything and started from scratch. I worked hard, adjusted my attitude and my aggression, funny how I never noticed how aggressive South Africans were until I left.  I learnt early on that I didn’t have to deal with as much misogyny in Canada so I could use a softer power and still achieve what I wanted.  However I was still seen as a tough no-nonsense person and I thought of myself as quite understanding and accepting and I wondered why people thought the opposite. It comes down to making people responsible including myself, I am a no blame no excuses kind of gal, own it and move on, solve the problem don’t just talk about it.

Needless to say I thrived in Canada. I had just the right amount of grit and my South African work ethic allowed me to achieve everything I dreamed of. Then I hit a snag… I didn’t really belong and I missed home with all my heart. My sons were becoming more Canadian by the day. They were forgetting where they came from. I was struggling with the language I had spoken all my life, Afrikaans was feeling halted and heavy on my tongue. I could see my future clearly – soon more people who meant the world to me would be living in Canada as my son’s married and had children. I felt trapped in a future I wasn’t ready for.  Seems I didn’t plan it out properly.

So in my typical grab the bull by the horns way I took everyone including the dog back to South Africa. It didn’t take me long to realize that I didn’t belong there either. My family had got on well without me and I had effectively handed over the eldest daughter position to my younger sister. I had no place anywhere, I was rudderless. It was impossible for me to find a footing and I wondered why it was that the land of my birth rejected me.   My boys didn’t settle and after two years of floundering about I did the only thing I could and moved back to Canada.  It was easier this time but I knew my fate was sealed. Still there is a deep hunger in my heart for my people and the land of my people I only hide it better now.

One of the results of this back and forth game, in hindsight, is that I needed to do the healing work I have been working with for the past ten years.  Not only has my whole life changed but I have become a different person.  I don’t see life the same way at all anymore and I have ended up exactly where I should be. All my ideas about what is important in life have shifted. Now it could be that this knowledge comes with age anyway but this feels deeper.  With my usual precision and ruthlessness I have cut away and broken free of my past and my Karma by finding new ways to deal with situations.  Still a work in progress but I am getting there.  I have learnt that wanting makes you unhappy but if you can dream big and act with sobriety you can manifest all your dreams.

I know that many South African’s reading this might say that I am one of the lucky ones and that I am out of the quagmire that has become the political and social scape of my home. And yes, I have to say that I am, but does that make me miss my home less? No it doesn’t. However as I am a different person now I am going to find a way to make the absolute best of what I have and find a way to meet and fulfill the needs of my Soul.  Not sure what that looks like yet, but I am working on it….

Love & Light

What's In My Blood....

The mystery of my ancestry has been on my mind for a long time.  I have been delving into my past and I have successfully traced my Fathers family tree back to the ancestor who immigrated to South Africa in 1694. My Mothers tree has not been that easy but I am not going to give up, I will continue to poke around.  Recently I had my DNA tested to see where I come from. The results were a mixture of "Yes I guessed that" and "Wow...really?" It has given me a deeper understanding of myself. 

As an Afrikaner I have always prided myself on the fact that I have no English blood, wrong… turns out I have quite a bit of ancestry from Great Britain.  Not Anglo-Saxon but rather Celts that stayed north of Hadrian’s Wall. To be expected – Western Europe, Nederland, Belgium and Germany is next and then Scandinavian and Eastern Europe.  The most surprising result is that there is 10% European Jewish, Ashkenazi ancestry.  So what did I find out – I am definitely of European decent!  Of course that is nothing new.

What I have uncovered is that I have expanded my view of who I am.  Basically I am a Celt because they were everywhere.  Now we think of Celts being in Scotland and Ireland but initially it was the whole area and they moved around a lot. Then of course the Vikings came and things shifted again.  I am exploring all of these pieces. I am researching their traditions, art and music and it is giving me a complete picture of myself.  I feel it also explains the unyielding spirit of my people.

It has been an interesting journey.  I think everyone should have their DNA tested it teaches you so much about yourself.   Another bonus, it adds so many new vacation destinations.

A more esoteric reason for doing this work is; if you believe in past lives then you are your own ancestor and I am searching back for a link to the past lives that have the strongest influence on this lifetime.  From the previous past life work I have done there are a number of lives that are impacting this one (in many of them I was an inhabitant of early Europe). Those deja vu moments of forgotten memories that stir when you do something you believe to be for the first time but it feels like it is not.   For me an example of this is that I decided to teach myself the Bodhran.  The day I picked it up I found I could play it – not with much finesse mind you – but I could play it.  Where did that come from?  Is it a memory from a past life?  Now I am working on honing this skill.

There is so much that lies hidden in our memories and in our blood… Is it time for you to explore yours?

Empaths – what are you doing in my space?

I know, I just pissed a lot of people off but I think it is a question that begs asking.  I am worn out by the expressed self-pity of empaths.  What is an empath anyway?  The dictionary says: “A person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.”

Really, did I give you permission to step into my circle and “feel” my mental or emotional state? I don’t think so!  Surely my thoughts, feelings and emotions are mine to feel and own and not to be randomly high jacked by another.  What really annoys me on top of it all is that the empath will then take my angst or fears as their own; take it on and wear it like a cloak, all the time bemoaning how horrid it is to feel other people’s stuff.  Well enough then – DON’T!  I have not given you permission in the first place!

Let’s get one thing straight, this is not a paranormal ability.  Every person I know has the ability to feel what another is feeling and feel empathy for another.  Some choose not to use their ability at all and remain quietly asleep. Others don’t give a damn and disregard everyone’s feelings but their own.  That doesn’t mean they can’t, they just don’t want to.  Perhaps sociopaths and psychopaths feel nothing at all – but they are not most people, then again one could argue that they feel everything and that it is exactly this ability that makes them such skilled manipulators.

Most people will feel empathy for others when faced with their sadness or grief, this is normal.  So what is the difference you ask?  The difference is that most people will not be so presumptive as to tell you that they can feel your feelings better than you can.

Empaths that can’t go to busy places with a lot of people, or the one crying in a crowd… you need to find a way to ground yourself.  Perhaps look at ways that you can protect yourself from the onslaught of other people’s feelings.  I know it must be very confusing and chaotic.  Do you feel it makes you special and different and is this feeling of "specialness" stopping you from holding your space? Is there a different way your gift can be applied where you don’t have to be crushed by all that is going on around you? If as you say it is such a burden to bear it might be time to find a way to tone it down.  There really is no need for you to absorb my feelings or anyone else’s.

Personally I feel deep empathy for people. Let me add that this has not always been so. It is only after my awakening and starting to heal that I have been able to open up enough.  As a person who works with people working on their personal growth it is a requirement.  However, I have their permission and it is in a safe controlled environment.  When I go out into the world, I go with an open heart but a protected Soul.  I keep my fibers to myself and don’t impose my luminosity, feelings or presence.  And I don’t want anyone doing that to me…

Love & Light

Independence Day

This year I am in the USA celebrating the 4th of July with my American honey. It is the first time I have actually been State-side for this celebration and I am paying close attention to what is happening in our neighbourhood. It is mid morning and like any other weekend morning people are out mowing lawns, washing muscle-cars or the houses and yards look quiet. I am sitting at the kitchen table writing this blog while eating "biltong" which we bought on our way down in Oakville, Ontario. So that should give you some idea where I am from. Later today we are going to have what Richard refers to as "a cook-out" otherwise known as a "BBQ" in Canada or a "braai" in South Africa. As I sit here typing away I reflect of all the different culture I have been exposed to. In my own homeland South Africa all the African cultures, Afrikaans, English, Sesotho, Zulu, Xhoza, Swahili, Venda and many more. Since I have moved to North America I have embraced Canadian, Native American cultures and now also American... it seems endless! Americans fought a hard battle for Independence. The right to make their own decisions and determine their fate. What does Independence really mean to me? Freedom to choose my own path. It means that no-one but me can decide how I should live my life. With that right comes responsibility. I have to take responsibility for all my choices. I can never blame someone else for events in my life. On a spiritual level Independence means that I have stopped listening to fear. I opened my heart to learning and thinking new thoughts and making the unknown my friend so that I can be fearless in going forward and following my chosen path. I have made peace with the part of me that lives in the shadows and I am gently healing the scars that I created. I too have fought a battle to bring all of me into the light and make myself whole. I have unleashed my shinning by teaching, and guiding others towards their own healing. This is an honour and a responsibility that I do not take lightly. My medicine has become an integral part of me and I pledge myself to it.... Love & Light!