In the course of the last five years I have been working with many people working on self-improvement, healing and growth. The question that I am asked most when they start their journey is what will it look like. I always have to respond that I don’t know; it looks different for everyone. I do know that I can’t do anything for the person other than guide.
I personally can’t heal another for two reasons:
- I won’t step into someone’s else’s circle and tell them what to do
- I won’t take responsibility for another’s healing I can only guide
Awakening – There has to be an awakening that shows you that you can no longer keep doing what you are doing. Everything falls apart and for some it becomes and internal struggle that leads them to self-medicate while for others it becomes and external push against everything around them. Few people take action before the crisis, most wait until the wheels have literally fallen off. However it doesn’t matter how you come to the realization, through choice or force, there is an awakening that makes you search for a new way of being.
Determination – Although it doesn’t have to be difficult, changing well ingrained patterns and triggers is never easy. It takes determination to continue because often it is two steps forward and one step back. All I can say is learn to Cha-cha. Every time you slip into your dark, have awareness, forgive yourself and do better next time. Soon the steps back will become less and less and you will start to move forward swiftly.
Patience – It is essential to have patience. As you saw above there will be many opportunities to feel like you are failing. Healing quickly isn’t impossible but it is not the norm. Shamanism is a quicker healing methodology because the story is unimportant, unlike western methods where you need to tell the story until it doesn’t trigger you anymore, but it still requires you to be gentle and patient with yourself. Remember the two steps forward, one back?
Ruthless Compassion – Cut through the lies of your ego! There is no greater liar than the little ego, the one that feeds on fear and is triggered by past experiences. Silencing the mind is arguably the most important part of the journey. There is only one way to do that, ruthless compassion. You can’t allow yourself to fall into self-pity or self-importance. Self-pity will allow you to indulge your story and self-importance will make you believe that you are fine (everyone else if the problem) and that there is no need for you to fix anything because you are so special. Have compassion for yourself but don’t fall for all the reasons you can’t, shouldn’t change your life and re-assemble your reality. You can be your worst enemy or you can have compassion and love yourself on your journey to self-discovery.
Acceptance – Stop being a pessimist or for that matter a rose-coloured glasses person. Start seeing things for what they really are. Often what we don’t want to hear or believe is that we created our reality. We dreamed it in – ALL of it – the good the bad and the ugly! That is a bitter pill to swallow sometimes. The longer you hold onto the façade you created the longer it will take to heal. Accept what is and disassemble the perception of your reality. Once it is dismantled you can start assembling it again with more wisdom.
Fearless – You have to be absolutely fearless. Healing means that you need to go place’s you have never gone before. You will have to face your dark and see it for what it is. Remember ruthless compassion though, always be gentle. That darkness helped you survive some tough times in your life. Healing also means that you will need to do things you have never done before, so you will fearlessly have to step into the unknown.
Believe me I know it sounds a lot easier than it is. I personally have done all of these steps on my path and still do so I know it is do-able. Being human means that we win one day and not the next but if you are really committed to a better way of living and finding joy again then buckle down it will be well worth the effort.
Love & Light