Karma... Is it a Bitch?

Many of us, if not all, come into this life with Karma and we have one job to do and that is to heal that Karma so that we can Love unconditionally. 

I find it quite fascinating that people think that Karma is somehow going to do their dirty work for them. It grates on me when I see posts or hear people say “Karma is going to get so and so.”  It is a fact that there is a Law of Return in the Universe.  Even in the Bible we have “You reap what you sow” but Karma is not our personal judge and jury.

So why do we feel compelled to speak of Karma in this way?  I believe it is because of our own self-importance.  We are placing all the blame on the other rather than looking at our role in the situation.  Should we look into ourselves first we may discover that we allowed the perceived wrong to happen.  Does that make us partly to blame, absolutely and therefore it is important for us to take responsibility for our part. 

Karma is our teacher.  One could argue that wishing ill on a person that has done you wrong in some way is in effect doing intentional harm and therefore will incur your own Karma.  Would it not be better to understand how we allowed it to happen and then carry that lesson forward in order to not make the same mistake twice?

Every action has a reaction.  We can have good Karma as well when we act selflessly.  Paying it forward will solicit a positive return, it is the Law of the Universe – that is why the greatest rule I endeavour to live by is: “First Do No Harm”

Is Integrity Subjective?

For a couple of years I have been working with integrity and what it means to me.  I think for me it is being a person of your word.  Believing in something and then having the strength to stand up for that belief is integrity.  For many people integrity is the same as morality but I don’t feel it is.  You can have the morals of a pirate but still have integrity.  Where else would the saying “Honour among thieves” come from?

Perhaps another word for integrity is honour.  I feel that is the closest synonym as it speaks to the righteousness of a person.  What I do know for certain if that integrity means something different for everyone.  That is why we are often so disappointed in other people’s actions because we measure them against our own standards.

An example in my life is the time I lent money to a very old and good friend of mine.  He was having health issues and needed help.  When he asked he told me that he would pay me back in six weeks as soon as his commission was paid out.   Ignoring my intuition as well as my Mom’s words, “Never a borrower or a lender be” I went against my instincts and lent him the money.  I felt certain that I knew him well enough and that he would never let me down.  The main point that led me to going ahead was that I believed he had integrity.  I believed him to be a man of his word. 

I know that he sees himself as a man of staunch integrity.  So that leaves me to believe that his standard of integrity is different from mine.  That he obviously holds himself to a different code.  I was also working from my own understanding of integrity.  There have been times in my life when I have had to ask for help and I have always met my commitment within the time frame I said I would, so I expected him to do the same as he gave me his word.  My word is my integrity… his is not.

To add insult to injury, when after two or three years of waiting for the money to be paid back I started asking, he blocked and unfriended me.  I know I will probably never see that money and I have reconciled myself with that but I did learn a valuable lesson, not to trust that other people live their lives to the same code I do.

I don’t hold any grudges.  Life is too short for that but I have definitely changed the way I measure people.  So I ask the question… do you think integrity is subjective?

Love & Light

Dying To Make A Change...

The other day I was browsing motivational videos on Youtube and I was struck by how many of the speakers base their life changing insights on near death experiences or dreadful illness that brought them to the brink of death.  I have always found it fascinating that people literally have to die before they make the changes they need to live a fulfilling life. 

What is it about the near death experience that allows us to embrace a new way of life?  My observation is that once you have faced death nothing more can scare you.  All the little fears that your ego dreamt up for you is erased once you have had to face a real fear.  Illness strengthens your courage and your will. 

Here is the thing that really boggles the mind… that near death experience or life alerting illness… you attracted it.  Right about now I can hear the choruses of; “No I didn’t!” but you know in your heart of heart that in some conscious or unconscious way you did.  Illness is the body’s way of making us pay attention!  Just like the sudden accident it forces you to pay attention to your path and what you are here to do.

But there are more subtle signs.  Perhaps you recognize some of them:

An abusive relationship that spirals out of control

Financial problems

Death of a loved one

Divorce

Losing a job

How many of us have made life altering changes after one of these occurrences in our lives? When we are able to make the necessary shift with grace and acceptance we often find that the impacts of these trails are far less than we ever imagined.  It is when we stay stuck in fear, grief and anger that life becomes unbearable.  If we feed the unbearable we attract more of the same.  If we let go and do what we need to do to heal, well then we attract more healing and growth.  If we ignore it all together… well then life throws a brick at us!

What are you prepared to do to make your life altering changes?

Love & Light

All We Need Is Love...

It is said that all we need is love for humanity to be happy and for our lives to have meaning, yet this seems to be one goal we all strive for and hardly ever reach.  In this time of division I have been reflecting on this.  Why do we humans seem so incapable of love?

All Teachers of Light throughout the ages have spoken of Love being the most important thing in this life and that through love we are able to transcend our egos’ because when we love we are thinking of someone else rather than ourselves.  It is also one of the reasons that sacrifice is rewarded in literature, music and history.  Selflessness is seen as a virtue.

So why is it so hard for us to love one another?   Interesting that Jesus said that the commandment second only to loving God is to, “Love thy neighbour as thyself” and it is in this statement that I think the flaw lies.   Most of us don’t love ourselves at all. 

We all live with this dilemma.  Depending on how we were raised we may think that loving ourselves is selfish because we might have been told as kids how selfish and spoiled we were.  Alternatively we might have grown up believing that we are worthless and being told that in many ways, at school and at home.  Most of us are used to conditional love, if you do this for me I will reward you; if you don’t then you will be punished.   Perhaps this is why we love dogs so much.  They don’t want anything from you and they give you all their love unconditionally, even if you don’t feel you deserve it. 

This brings me to an experiment that was done by performance artist Marina Abramovic.  She stood still for six hours and allowed people to do anything to her body without any repercussions.  She removed all responsibilities for their actions.  What's frightening is that it very soon devolved into a sadistic, violent tableau.  Why I wonder, why did people not shower her with affection?  Why all the hate, fear and violence?

So how do we fix this as a society? Buddha said it clearly, “If you see yourself in others, then who can you hurt?”  Yet that won’t help us either if we don’t love ourselves.  We need compassion and empathy for all people not only the ones who are in agreement with us.  It all comes down to healing ourselves so that we can truly love ourselves.  How do we do that?

Forgiveness – we all make mistakes but we have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes of the past.  Mistakes are there to teach and they are part of the journey of life.  Remember that we are only human.

Releasing anger and hurt – if we can bring ourselves to let go of all the hurt and anger that we hold onto we are able to open our hearts.  While we are living with hurt it is impossible for us to allow anyone in.  We always keep them at arm’s length and this leads to separation.

Fear – when people aren’t the same as us we tend to keep them at a distance.  They don’t look, speak or act like us so they must be too different for us to love.  If we can’t heal the fear and distrust of people within ourselves, how are we ever going to change our perspective?  

Love & Light

Roots and New Growth...

Twenty years ago I let go of everything I knew and loved and took my first steps into a brave new world. In the next year I broke everything and started from scratch. I worked hard, adjusted my attitude and my aggression, funny how I never noticed how aggressive South Africans were until I left.  I learnt early on that I didn’t have to deal with as much misogyny in Canada so I could use a softer power and still achieve what I wanted.  However I was still seen as a tough no-nonsense person and I thought of myself as quite understanding and accepting and I wondered why people thought the opposite. It comes down to making people responsible including myself, I am a no blame no excuses kind of gal, own it and move on, solve the problem don’t just talk about it.

Needless to say I thrived in Canada. I had just the right amount of grit and my South African work ethic allowed me to achieve everything I dreamed of. Then I hit a snag… I didn’t really belong and I missed home with all my heart. My sons were becoming more Canadian by the day. They were forgetting where they came from. I was struggling with the language I had spoken all my life, Afrikaans was feeling halted and heavy on my tongue. I could see my future clearly – soon more people who meant the world to me would be living in Canada as my son’s married and had children. I felt trapped in a future I wasn’t ready for.  Seems I didn’t plan it out properly.

So in my typical grab the bull by the horns way I took everyone including the dog back to South Africa. It didn’t take me long to realize that I didn’t belong there either. My family had got on well without me and I had effectively handed over the eldest daughter position to my younger sister. I had no place anywhere, I was rudderless. It was impossible for me to find a footing and I wondered why it was that the land of my birth rejected me.   My boys didn’t settle and after two years of floundering about I did the only thing I could and moved back to Canada.  It was easier this time but I knew my fate was sealed. Still there is a deep hunger in my heart for my people and the land of my people I only hide it better now.

One of the results of this back and forth game, in hindsight, is that I needed to do the healing work I have been working with for the past ten years.  Not only has my whole life changed but I have become a different person.  I don’t see life the same way at all anymore and I have ended up exactly where I should be. All my ideas about what is important in life have shifted. Now it could be that this knowledge comes with age anyway but this feels deeper.  With my usual precision and ruthlessness I have cut away and broken free of my past and my Karma by finding new ways to deal with situations.  Still a work in progress but I am getting there.  I have learnt that wanting makes you unhappy but if you can dream big and act with sobriety you can manifest all your dreams.

I know that many South African’s reading this might say that I am one of the lucky ones and that I am out of the quagmire that has become the political and social scape of my home. And yes, I have to say that I am, but does that make me miss my home less? No it doesn’t. However as I am a different person now I am going to find a way to make the absolute best of what I have and find a way to meet and fulfill the needs of my Soul.  Not sure what that looks like yet, but I am working on it….

Love & Light

What's In My Blood....

The mystery of my ancestry has been on my mind for a long time.  I have been delving into my past and I have successfully traced my Fathers family tree back to the ancestor who immigrated to South Africa in 1694. My Mothers tree has not been that easy but I am not going to give up, I will continue to poke around.  Recently I had my DNA tested to see where I come from. The results were a mixture of "Yes I guessed that" and "Wow...really?" It has given me a deeper understanding of myself. 

As an Afrikaner I have always prided myself on the fact that I have no English blood, wrong… turns out I have quite a bit of ancestry from Great Britain.  Not Anglo-Saxon but rather Celts that stayed north of Hadrian’s Wall. To be expected – Western Europe, Nederland, Belgium and Germany is next and then Scandinavian and Eastern Europe.  The most surprising result is that there is 10% European Jewish, Ashkenazi ancestry.  So what did I find out – I am definitely of European decent!  Of course that is nothing new.

What I have uncovered is that I have expanded my view of who I am.  Basically I am a Celt because they were everywhere.  Now we think of Celts being in Scotland and Ireland but initially it was the whole area and they moved around a lot. Then of course the Vikings came and things shifted again.  I am exploring all of these pieces. I am researching their traditions, art and music and it is giving me a complete picture of myself.  I feel it also explains the unyielding spirit of my people.

It has been an interesting journey.  I think everyone should have their DNA tested it teaches you so much about yourself.   Another bonus, it adds so many new vacation destinations.

A more esoteric reason for doing this work is; if you believe in past lives then you are your own ancestor and I am searching back for a link to the past lives that have the strongest influence on this lifetime.  From the previous past life work I have done there are a number of lives that are impacting this one (in many of them I was an inhabitant of early Europe). Those deja vu moments of forgotten memories that stir when you do something you believe to be for the first time but it feels like it is not.   For me an example of this is that I decided to teach myself the Bodhran.  The day I picked it up I found I could play it – not with much finesse mind you – but I could play it.  Where did that come from?  Is it a memory from a past life?  Now I am working on honing this skill.

There is so much that lies hidden in our memories and in our blood… Is it time for you to explore yours?

2017 ~ What are you Dreaming in?

I have been watching the posts on facebook and elsewhere about what people are dreaming in for 2017 and some have been really interesting.   Everyone is brimming with optimism however some seem to be optimistic for optimisms sake.  Just because it is a new year doesn’t mean that things will necessarily change.  If we don’t make a concerted effort to take some action and make the changes we seek then most things will probably stay the same.  I have been reflecting on how I would like to approach 2017. Here are some of my thoughts.

Don’t wait for abundance to give.  Firstly, what is abundance?  Doesn’t the fact that you have everything you need and more not mean that you already receive abundance? I wonder how much more we think we need before we can give without expecting anything in return.  This is contradicted many times by social experiments where the people who have the least often give the most.  So let’s decide that we don’t need lots of money to give. We can give of our time, money according to our own ability and sometimes paying it forward in small ways. 

If you stand for something it doesn’t mean that you are automatically against something.  We live in a world where if you voice an opinion that is not in alignment with others you are instantaneously in opposition to them. This is a new phenomenon but it seems people are no longer allowed or able to agree to disagree.  If you are Pro-Choice it must mean that you are Pro-Abortion right?  Nothing could be further from the truth you only believe that women need to be able to make their own choices and take responsibility for them.  There are so many examples of this nonsense… if you think that Israel should not build new settlements in Palestine then of course you are an anti-Semite.  If you believe that the carnage in Syria is an abomination and feel compassion for the people then surely you support the terrorists in some way.  This opposition brings separation, have your heard of divide and conquer? It needs to be nipped in the bud! Make sure people understand what you stand for and don’t back down. 

Have you heard that the word Post-Truth is one of the words being added to the Oxford Dictionary for 2016?  It seems we now live in a world of exactly that, post-truth.  Everything was turned upside down in 2016 when it comes to truth and integrity.  It seems you only need to repeat a lie many times for it to become the truth.  People are distorting the truth and twisting lies until it seems like the truth but the biggest problem is that it is all perception and you are going to believe what you want depending on your bent of character.  So I am going to search for the truth and even if I don’t like it accept the truth to be the truth.  Granted that is if I can find the truth out there….

In 2017 I am going to watch what people do not just what they say.  I have made a vow to myself to meet every commitment I have made to myself.  I am good at meeting the expectations of others but I don’t always follow through on my commitments to myself.  In 2017 I am going to change that.

  

Integrity is going to be very important this coming year and I am going to hold it as a beacon of inspiration.  If we all act with integrity imagine the changes that will happen in our own lives!

I want to leave you with one last thought, remember that  Edmond Burke once said: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.”  Let that not be our legacy for 2017…

 Love & Light