Bent But Never Broken...

I have bent like a blade of grass in the wind.  When the storm is over I have pulled myself up and risen towards the sun.

I have been hurled against the rocks like the waves of a stormy ocean and I have always found a way to crawl back to dry land moments before drowning.

I have been blown like a grain of sand across the desert floor only to land back on my feet.

I have burned in the fire of my passion and burnt myself out to be resurrected like the Phoenix from the ashes.

I have stood grounded on the earth against the odds like a tree that found the smallest patch of earth to grow in.  I have sent my roots down until they cracked open the barren landscape and created my own destiny.

There have also been times when I have felt like a Lioness that lost too many battles and I just lay down a while to lick my wounds.  Gone quietly within and I have given myself permission to heal and to not let the world make me cold-hearted.  The scars I carry, I carry with pride because they remind me of my survival.

I have shouted at love and said never again!  I have laughed in the face of danger and taken the risk anyway knowing that the risk is worth it.  I have been foolish with my dreams and squandered opportunities but I have also nurtured some like fragile samplings and they have flourished.

Like the Wolf I have hunted my fears and slayed them one by one.  I have realized that it is important to see them for what they really are… an enemy that wishes to keep me small and in me place.

Yes, I have been tested by life.  I have survived many a storm and come out the other side with a few scars but I have always stood up again.

What I know is that the world can be a battlefield but it also holds much beauty because even though it can bash you up against the rocks it can also lift you up so you can ride the wave.  There is an abundance of love in a mothers gaze.  There is protection and warmth by a fathers side.  There is camaraderie in the support of siblings and friends. There is ecstasy in a lovers touch. There is pride and joy as your children succeed and grow.  There is innocence and the promise of tomorrow in a grandchild's eyes.  There is the wisdom of the ancestors as they guide you lovingly to where you have to be.  All these things are worth every bit of blood, sweat and tears you can muster.

I have fought my battles alone and tapped every ounce of my courage.  I vow to never surrender.  I will always stand and fight for what I desire, for my dreams for what I believe in and for those close to me because I know that I can never live my life on my knees…

So Be It!

Truth or Fiction...

I am making a strong attempt to not sound condescending or righteous while I am writing this blog; I want it to be neutral.  Something interesting is happening in the world.  People are hanging onto their beliefs and even changing well known scientific fact or history to suit a narrative of their own.  Older people, Baby Boomers and Generation X’ers, are more susceptible it seems.  I spoke to my Millennial son about why they don’t get suckered into this phenomenon as much and in his opinion it is very simple;  They know how to recognize garbage when they see it and we don’t.

You see it’s simple; they have never lived in a world where fact and fiction has not been the opposite side of the coin. They know movies are fake (even the ones that claim to be based in fact) and they know that we the older generation put a spin on everything to make people buy in.  Well guess what – they ain’t buying what we are selling!

However this bending of the truth has opened a sticky area that feels like leaky gut syndrome to me… crap just keeps trickling out.  If you repeat the lie enough, people will believe it.   They will send link after link of information found on dubious sites as proof that they are right.  Yet when historical or scientific facts are stated, if it doesn’t suit the narrative, it is discarded as being the conspiracy that we are being fed, by I am not sure whom.  The end result I believe is that we are getting sick and losing our moral compass.

In general society has taken a step back.  There is no longer “THE Truth” there is only the spin you want it to have.  What we don’t understand is that every Tom, Dick and Harriett can now have their opinion heard.  This is a good thing most of the time but when the ignorant starts leading the blind… well then I really don’t know.  Now when I say ignorant let me clarify that I don’t mean uneducated, no, I mean the people who actually do know better but are willfully misleading because they have decided that “commonly” understood, well known facts no longer suit their narrative.

Why do I feel this is a problem you ask? Well, I had a very disconcerting chat on facebook with a group of acquaintances from high school.  Little did I know that they are Holocaust deniers and I foolishly engaged.  They sent me link after link of facts that they have found on the internet to support their philosophy, that Hitler didn’t give the order for “The Final Solution” and that only one or two million Jews were murdered because it wasn’t possible to murder more etc. etc.  Even when another person provided some alternative sites that speak to the number of people including Jews that died in camps they just refuted it with the claim that it was Jewish propaganda.   I just left the conversation but I was deeply saddened because to me it doesn’t matter how many people died, six million or three hundred thousand (which was one claim) it remains a terrible, horrific time in history and one that I hope we never repeat.

 But my real fear is that I think we will repeat it.  I fear we have not learned anything from the past. We refute and dispute known facts.  We have people that believe the earth is flat for crying out loud!  When did that become a thing?  Why would our planet be the only one in the Universe that is different?  We sow division. Racism, Antisemitism, Misogyny and Militant Feminism is blatant.  The disenfranchised are disregarded.  People (Syria) are bombed daily and no-one bats an eye.  Children are put into holding cells (cages) and nothing is done.  Refugees are shunned and pushed to the margins of society.  Have we have lost our ability to have or even show compassion for all humans?

I don’t know how to fix this globally.  Perhaps finding “better” people to vote for will help, but power corrupts we have seen it many times.  After that sticky conversation about the Holocaust I spoke to my son about it and he looked at me incredulously.  “Unfriend them, why would you want to be friends with people like that?!” he asked.  And that is when I realized the power is mine. I can create my world in a way that it supports Sacred Life.  I can share with an open heart and have compassion for my fellow human beings.  I can refrain from judgement and I can fight against darkness by shining my light far and wide.  This doesn’t mean that I will avoid people who disagree with me but if they are actively working on creating division and hate… then they gotta go…

Love & Light

Is Integrity Subjective?

For a couple of years I have been working with integrity and what it means to me.  I think for me it is being a person of your word.  Believing in something and then having the strength to stand up for that belief is integrity.  For many people integrity is the same as morality but I don’t feel it is.  You can have the morals of a pirate but still have integrity.  Where else would the saying “Honour among thieves” come from?

Perhaps another word for integrity is honour.  I feel that is the closest synonym as it speaks to the righteousness of a person.  What I do know for certain if that integrity means something different for everyone.  That is why we are often so disappointed in other people’s actions because we measure them against our own standards.

An example in my life is the time I lent money to a very old and good friend of mine.  He was having health issues and needed help.  When he asked he told me that he would pay me back in six weeks as soon as his commission was paid out.   Ignoring my intuition as well as my Mom’s words, “Never a borrower or a lender be” I went against my instincts and lent him the money.  I felt certain that I knew him well enough and that he would never let me down.  The main point that led me to going ahead was that I believed he had integrity.  I believed him to be a man of his word. 

I know that he sees himself as a man of staunch integrity.  So that leaves me to believe that his standard of integrity is different from mine.  That he obviously holds himself to a different code.  I was also working from my own understanding of integrity.  There have been times in my life when I have had to ask for help and I have always met my commitment within the time frame I said I would, so I expected him to do the same as he gave me his word.  My word is my integrity… his is not.

To add insult to injury, when after two or three years of waiting for the money to be paid back I started asking, he blocked and unfriended me.  I know I will probably never see that money and I have reconciled myself with that but I did learn a valuable lesson, not to trust that other people live their lives to the same code I do.

I don’t hold any grudges.  Life is too short for that but I have definitely changed the way I measure people.  So I ask the question… do you think integrity is subjective?

Love & Light