Everyone has dreams and it is of no consequence how big
those dreams are or how small. How you
approach your dreams either makes them become reality or remain a
daydream. There has to be steps taken
for a dream to become reality. Just
waiting for the Universe to bless you will never work, let’s face it – even if
you dream of winning the lottery – you still have to buy that ticket! Of course providence and being in the right place
at the right time also comes into play but usually it also means that some type
of action was taken to place you in that space.
Often we will put all our effort into something only for it
to not work out. This happens
frequently, however it regularly turns out that something better is just around
the corner out of sight. When this
happens you will usually hear “Wow that worked out for the best.”
The five behaviours I am going to discuss are the ones we
use consciously or subconsciously to block our dreams.
1. Not Taking
Responsibility:
Stop blaming other people for your shit! Your parents, siblings, husband, girlfriend, boss
or co-workers are not responsible for your choices. We all have histories and we have all made
mistakes – so own yours. You don’t have
to take the blame for other peoples choices only your own. Sometimes we react to circumstances and
people in such a way that we sabotage ourselves, a “cut your nose to spite your
face” scenario. Inevitably we have some
hand in the circumstances so we have to take a good hard look at our role and
take responsibility without judgement of ourselves or others. You will find that all the drama will evaporate
when you deal with the facts leaving you open to heal your wounds.
2. Not Taking Action:
Procrastination and laziness are dream serial killers. Talking up a storm about how you are going to
make something happen is never going to bring it to fruition, you have to take
action! An example might be that you
want to eat better, so you go to the store and buy healthy choices and look for
healthy recipes only to flop down on the couch and get take out. The food rots away in the fridge to be thrown
into the garbage. Of course we have
excuses – I was too tired, I had a tough day at work, the kids drove me mad –
but none of these are really valid if we value ourselves and our dreams. Stop allowing excuses and justifications to
ruin your dreams, make a commitment to yourself and your dream and take action!
3. Break From
Reality:
Living in the past or in the future will kill your dreams
every time. When we dwell on the past our
story is ever present. Stories stir up
emotion and confuse the brain. We start
to project the same outcome as we have had in the past and it forces us to hold
onto patterns. Living in the future is
just as destructive it makes us believe that if circumstances would somehow
change then we will be happy. You can
however be happy now just by seeing reality for what it is and being grateful
for what you have. Worry has never
solved a single problem, only action does and if there is nothing that can be
done then acceptance of your reality is all there is. Upon acceptance you will feel a weight lift
off your shoulders, your emotions will calm down and your brain will clear
opening the door to a new understanding of the problem and a new path to take.
4. Having No
Integrity:
What does integrity mean?
It means to have a quality of being honest and having strong moral
principles. It is a state of being whole
and undivided. Lies will stop dreams in
their tracks. The worst kind is the lies
you tell yourself. All the
justifications that we have when we don’t act from a place of integrity cause
negative energy around us, within ourselves and with others. When your word can’t be trusted energy can’t
move. What we think and say is the
driving force behind the energy we send out into the universe. Lies cause chaos! When
we stop lying to ourselves and/or others, energy starts to flow and the
universe starts to move in your favour.
5. Self-Importance /
Self-Pity:
Two sides of the same coin.
You can’t have self-pity without self-importance. This is a difficult concept for most – I know
I struggled with it for a while. Self-importance makes us believe that rules
don’t apply to us and that we are entitled.
It is that entitlement that blocks dreams because it makes us believe
that we don’t have to put any effort in.
Think about what we call the “Entitled Generation” – they are so used to
just getting what they want, often without deserving it that it becomes their
nature. If this behaviour is not rectified
it can shift into narcissism and in extreme cases become a disorder. To clarify I am not referring to self-esteem
or self-worth – these two traits are essential to make dreams come true.
Self-pity on the other hand allows you to wallow in your misery. It is a way to indulge in our inability to
calm our emotions and break with our past.
It blocks our healing process and keeps us caught in all the situations
where we believe we were the victim. We
remain victims of our past and our actions and attract negative energy and
stagnation. Often we find ourselves surrounded by negative
people as a result. When we believe that
everything and everyone is against us we will not act because we are fear
driven. Dreams are not born from fear
but from courage; courage to heal, to step into the unknown and to take up the
challenge and move forward.
How do you block your dreams? Which of these behaviours do you practice,
all or just some? Do you fluctuate
between self-pity and self-importance? I
believe these to be interesting questions.
If we can be truthful with ourselves we can get a glimpse of where we
sabotage our dreams and take steps to rectify our thoughts and actions. It is hard work but so worth it!
In Beauty
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