Transcending Ego – this statement has given me much food for
thought. It is held as a beacon as
something to aspire to but what does it really mean? In order to understand it you have to go back
to what the word Ego really means. There
are a few definitions:
- A person’s sense of self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect, self-image
- Psychoanalysis - The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
- Philosophy – A conscious thinking subject
Does that mean that without an Ego we would have no sense of
self? If I transcend my ego what happens
to my sense of self? Do I become
self-less and is that even possible? The
definition of Selflessness is:
- Having little or no concern for oneself.
In my way of thinking that doesn't sound healthy from a day
to day perspective. Of course if one was
acting selflessly in a moment of danger, then it means something else altogether.
Human beings all have ego and this is not a bad thing. We
are designed to want instant gratification and without our ego’s we would act
of every desire and whim good or bad. Just
think of a baby and how it reacts and interacts with its world. It wants its needs seen to immediately –
should you make it wait, then the baby will cry incessantly until the needs are
met. Our Ego’s help us determine what is
good for us and shapes our reality. It
is when this ego is out of balance that we have a problem.
The unfortunate thing about our egos is that it often “lies”
to us. It deploys a defense mechanism in
order to help us cope with the reality we
create. This is especially true when
we are making choices that are in conflict with social norms, our own personal morals
or taboos. The defense mechanisms come
in many forms such as, denial, displacement, intellectualisation, fantasy,
compensation, projection, rationalization, reaction formation, regression,
repression, and sublimation. Our fear also resides in this place of ego and
if our ego feels that we are putting ourselves in harm’s way it will stop us in
our tracks. That little voice that says: No; You can’t; You’ll fail if you try…
it resides there in the basic instinct of our Ego’s.
In my practice I have seen many people who have employed
one, many or all of the defense mechanisms because of Fear and the greatest
fear is one of change. The biggest problem is that they then make
the decision to squash the ego and not act at all becoming immobilized by their
fear. They start feeling stuck. The Ego must
be heard for the individual to move forward and ignoring it just makes
everything worse. This does not have to
be “transcendence” but rather finding a way to put it at ease.
One of the techniques I teach is an ancient Hawaiian Ritual
called Ho’oponopono. It comes in four parts; I love you, I am
sorry, I thank you, I forgive you, ending with I love you. This ritual allows you to clear the ego and
allow it to feel heard instead of suppressed. It allows you to find the courage to make the change you need to and step outside your comfort-zone.
Keep in mind that Egotism is something completely different. This is a place of self-importance, entitlement and arrogance. I feel that
people often confuse Egotism with Ego and that it has become one and the same
in people’s minds. When you are acting out of self-interest and narcissism
and only thinking of how things affect you with no concern for others then you
have another issue altogether. In
Shamanism we know that Self-Pity is the other side of the coin of Self-Importance. That makes sense really; you have to have an
inflated sense of self to feel sorry for yourself.
As for transcendence of the ego, I am still working on
it. What is transcending ego really mean
you ask? It is to have knowledge of your True-Self and realizing your true
nature. There are times when I feel that
I have connected with my higher self and that I no longer hold the view of
myself as limited but rather as limitless.
I aspire to connect to my true self, the one that has no boundaries and
engage in my life more fully, with a deeper connection to Spirit using the Self
and Co-creation to accomplish my goals.
It is a strenuous task at times with all the external noise that we have
in our lives but when it happens it is joyous and nothing short of a miracle…
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