2012 Is finally here. Now what, has anything changed?

2012 has been talked about with trepidation and excitement depending on who you speak to. Personally I believe that it is going to be filled with positive energy and that I am going to be able to make the final shift to becoming all I can be and follow my new path.

However in the meantime I have had to deal with some of my dark teachers. Anger and impatience has been knocking at my door these past days. This made me wonder; what has changed?  Here I am on the eve of another New Year with the same challenges that I have had year in and year out.  Then I realized that these teachers have showed themselves for a reason. 

With the Winter Solstice energy just behind us and us being in the midst of winter there is no better time to face our dark teachers.  This was reinforced by our Dance Chief at our sweat on January 1^st, 2012.  I went to the sweat with the intention of setting my intention for manifesting in 2012 but once there I realized that I had to face my anger and frustration instead. The unfortunate thing in all of this is that people I care about usually suffer the consequences of my teachers showing up.  I can see and hear myself be confrontational yet I am unable to stop myself. 

Some time ago a girlfriend asked me “Why is it that we always hurt the ones we love?”  I replied that I thought it is because our loved ones can’t or won’t just walk away.  They hold space for us no matter how horrible we are because they love us.  People who don’t love us will throw their hands up in the air and walk away, they have no reason not to.

Often when we look at the "dark side" of our personalities we have an urge to squash it because we see it as negative. If we look deep inside the dark emotion there is usually something that we can embrace. I have found that within my anger lies my passion. It is the driving force that moves me forward and gives me determination to face whatever difficulties may lie ahead. If I embrace the positive aspects of my anger and turn it to passion just think of the amount of energy I could use for forward momentum rather than destruction. 

In the meantime I will work towards embracing my anger in the light and I apologize to my loved ones for being difficult and mean and remind you that I do love you all.  I look forward to 2012.  I am so excited about the changes that are coming I can hardly contain my anger....

I mean PASSION  :-)