In principle I don't have an issue with this (I don't want to leave them in the lurch). We were discussing how we can reduce my time requirement for February and the rest of the year when I was told that there have been complaints about my performance over the last couple of months. I have to confess that wasn't easy to hear as I have always prided myself on the fact that I apply myself to the best of my ability however I think this assessment is completely accurate none the less - my heart has just not been in it of late.
Still I stay trying to talk about ways to reduce my work load and still help the company reach their resource obligations not wanting to cause them undue stress. As it becomes clear that January is out of the question I mention that I need more time for my own project and I am bluntly told; "That is not my problem." I'm a little take aback by this comment but again I look at it from their point of view; the company is very busy and they need all hands on deck so my coming along telling them that I don't want to work full time anymore is not convenient at all.
The next thing I am told is that they find contractors aren't very reliable and that they have problems with this concept. So I try to address their concern's saying that I would at least check e-mails once a day and obviously if they need me urgently they can phone me.
After all this I suggest that I just resign outright and be done with it! This time I am asked not to do that as yet at least give them January and then they will see how they can reduce my hours for February onwards. We end the conversation and I leave to go on-site.
Driving along I replay the conversation: I have just been told that; (a) my performance leaves a lot to be desired. (b) they don't really want to work with contractor's (c) my projects are not their problem (d) my projects must not interfere with their goals (e) how and when I find time to work on my projects is not their problem.
My question is then; should the fact that they can't meet their resource obligations be my problem? Should I be concerned with the fact that they have over extended themselves? The more I think about this the more it becomes clear to me that I should make a clean break and move on.
I am not happy. The only thing is my life that causes my equilibrium to be lost is this job. I have many new things just waiting in the wings that I would like to tackle and every day that I have to shift my focus back I lose energy. Now that I have decided to take the leap of faith and start the new journey it is excruciating!
What do y’all think? I’d be very interested to hear your views….
Love and Light!
Hanna
Well Hanna, you have to decide for yourself of course, but my opinion is: if it would be possible, quit the job. Of course your employer won't like it, as you say it's very busy there. But that happens everywhere, and the workload is getting bigger and bigger. And if they react like that, they only look at themselves and their profits, not interested in your needs. Why should you care about their needs then? You already made them a nice proposal, and they didn't like it. If you decide to leave them, they will quickly find a solution, believe me!
ReplyDeleteYou better put all your energy in your carreer as an author.
Cheers, Yolanda